Bro's Wallet
by JohnEgbert 413
Summary: A cool guy needs some thread. (T just because of all the language)


'Damn. I gotta stitch up another one of these puppets.' Bro thought as he looked at his fallen joy. Well, one of them, to say the least. His battles with Dave always did get pretty intense, but when you're a walking example of badassness, you can't expect to contain that. It's like unleashing a cat and telling it to not play with a mouse or some shit. Anyway, he'd be able to fix this one; granted, his sewing skills weren't exactly "top-notch". Even cool guys have limits, right?

Looking around though, he couldn't seem to find any thread. Sighing, he looked to his old friend and trouble-maker, Lil Cal. "Cal, you're not fucking with me again, are you? I don't feel like running to the store because you're in a dick mood." Cal stared back at him with those empty eyes. Bro smiled at him. "Yeah, you're right. A joke isn't funny the second time around. Well damn, looks like I actually do have to go get stuff." Picking Cal up, Bro looked for his wallet before he left. He didn't need it, of course. He always had cash on hand thanks to his website, but it was a hella wallet. There was almost nothing that could compare to it.

Ah, there it is. Exactly where it shouldn't be. That's the best place to keep stuff, since it keeps people from messing with what they want to mess with. It's also pretty ironic to keep a wallet in a blender, though maybe too ironic, since it could get torn to holy high hell. Fuck it though, right? Bro grabs the shit out of that wallet because it's freakin' awesome. Looking inside, there's a solid fat stack of cash, almost bigger than the one he's carrying on him right now, but it was the wallet that matters.

Well it's time to stop being sentimental and shit, and for him and Cal to roll out. Before he goes, he pops his head into Dave's room to tell his little bro bye.

"Yo shithead, I'm out. I better not come back to any hooker party or something."

Dave was working on some beats but looked up to reply. "Nah man, its a weekday. Hooker parties are on Saturday, you know that. I'll just burn the place down or something."

"Good. Later."

Bro left the room and out the apartment. As always, it was outrageously hot, but cool guys don't get hot, they _are_ hot. Well, minus the bead of sweat that immediately formed on his forehead, but still.

"Damn, you feeling this Cal?" He asked his loyal friend. Cal only gazed at Bro to reply. Bro nodded, agreeing with his companion. "True, true."

The city was pretty tight, but not cool tight. More like dear-lord-why-the-hell-am-i-wearing-the'se-fucking-pants tight, but Bro made due. Cool guys roll with what happens. Anyway, Bro managed to maneuver around the crowds, getting some weird looks at Cal, but fuck those haters. Cal is his best friend, and everyone else can screw off if they look down their nose at him. He has to keep Cal on a tight leash when they're outside though; the little guy likes to run around a lot. Christ, how many people can be in the same spot at once? Finally, Bro reached a nearby mall.

Only the coolest of the cool can still look cool in the arts and crafts section. Luckily, Bro makes cool piss its pants when he walks by, so he was so in the clear he was glass. Hmm... Yeah, this thread should work. Pretty sure his injured companion was red. Sweet. Lets go revive the fallen, right? Walking to the register, Bro noticed that Cal was gone. Well damn, where did that guy go off to now? Looking for his friend, he spotted Cal clinging to something. An advertisement with a green house on it.

'Holy hell... It's here sooner than I thought. Goddamned it.'

Bro was looking at an advertisement of a PC game SBURB that would be releasing soon. Time really does fly, doesn't it? Well crap. He picked up Cal and walked up to the counter. A girl smiled at him.

"Well hi there handsome; how may I help you today?"

Alright, gotta be cool about this. Don't flip your shit. "Yeah, I'd like to pre-order two copies of that SBURB game."

Her smile grew in size. "Oh yeah, that's a popular sell! A lot of people have pre-ordered a bunch of copies. You have high hopes for it?"

Bro shook his head. "Nah. Its gonna blow."

Her smile lessened as it was mixed with confusion. "Then why are you ordering two copies?"

He shrugs at her. "I dunno. Felt like it I guess." He grabbed a nearby pen and an order form. Quickly filling it out, he handed it to her, along with a few hundreds. "Here, keep the change. I gotta run." He he'sitated, wondering if he should say more. He would, because cool guys need a moment of being nice. "And if you're planning on doing something with your life, do it now. Make it a good one."

He left the girl there, her face filled with confusion.

Buying what he came here for, Bro left with the thread, though now he had his mind on something else. He didn't know quite what it was, but he had a feeling that that game would fuck up something. Something big. Yet, he had to buy it. He needed to.

"Cal, do you think I did the right thing warning her?"

He stared into Cal's eyes.

"Well yeah I know I sounded like a fucking crazy person. But I feel like I did the right thing, you know?"

Cal's eyes stared back into Bro's.

"Good point. Whats done is done. Hope she's ready for it."

Suddenly, Bro felt something in his pocket. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw some teenager running off. Holy fuck, did he just... Bro snapped his head towards the kid. He just got lifted off of. Bro sprinted after him, dodging the crowd as they moved on by. This kid was fast, but he was fucking with a Strider. Both bobbed and weaved through the dense herd of people, Bro slowly catching up to the punk. The kid thought he could get away in an alley.  
>He was wrong.<p>

Bro saw him trying to hop a fence, but he ran up to him and pulled him down. Luckily, Cal chose to cling to him instead of run off again. Using Cal, he picked the kid up by the collar. He wasn't the small, but again, he was fucking with a Strider. Even though the kid couldn't see his eyes, he sure as hell felt them burn into his.

"Alright kid, I'm gonna go easy on you because I can promise you that my friend here won't. Give me back my wallet, right fucking now."

The kid squirmed under his grip. "Come on man, I need it for my family. My mother and sister are hungry and-"

His grip tightened. "I don't give a damn about your life! You better just give me that fucking wallet!"

Terrified, the kid struggled to reach into his jacket and pulled out the wallet. Bro let him down and took it from his hand. He was about to walk away, but something made him stop. He looked back at the kid, judging him. Rolling his eyes, he took the money out of it and threw it to the kid. "Go feed your family, find a job or some shit, and stop fucking with people."

The kid looked at Bro with confusion. "Whats so special about that wallet? It can't be worth more than the money."

Bro just shook his head. "It is. Now get out of here kid."

And that was the last time Bro saw that kid again.

Making his way back, he looked to Cal. "Hope that kid wasn't a junkie or something."

Cal's eyes sparkled.

"Well, I scared the shit out of him anyway, so maybe he won't. Anyway, I got the wallet back, and that's what matters."

His eyes seemed to intensify their look.

"I'm allowed to have a heart and all that junk every now and then."

Going back into the apartment, he banged on Dave's door.

"Yo, I'm back. Didn't burn the place down too bad did you?"

Dave replied through the door. "Yeah, I did. Had to build the entire building with duck tape and staples before you came back."

Bro nodded. "Good. Oh, and hey, you heard of this thing called SBURB?"

"Nah man. What's that?"

"Some game that totally sucks. Just thought it'd be cool if we played it or something."

"Oh. Cool."

"Yeah." Ending a conversation with Dave was always kinda awkward when Bro wasn't leaving. He feels like he needs to say something more or something. This is how it goes though, so Bro just heads back to his room. He took the wallet out and put it the microwave this time. Before he did though, he looked at it quickly, making sure he didn't seem like he cared that much. It was a Sweet Jeff and Hella Bro wallet that Dave got him a while back. It totally sucked in every possible way, and Bro made sure Dave knew that. But... Well, cool guys can be sentimental every now and then.

Looking at the hurt puppet, he realized that it was orange, not red. Well fuck. Looks like he's gotta go out and get thread. Again.


End file.
